Melissa Abecassis

Ho'oponopono

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60 - 902 - 8 High

Ho'oponopono is a Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness that involves expressing remorse, asking for forgiveness, expressing gratitude, and expressing love in order to heal and transform relationships. It aims to bring about healing, understanding, and connection within oneself and with others.

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Goal

  • To restore balance and harmony within oneself and in relationships with others
  • To resolve conflicts and repair damaged relationships
  • To let go of resentment and anger
  • To facilitate open and honest communication
  • To build understanding and compassion
  • To create a sense of unity and connection
  • To bring about healing and transformation within oneself and in relationships with others
  • To find a deeper understanding of oneself and others
  • To build stronger, more loving and fulfilling connections with others

Instructions

These are instructions inspired by the Hoponopono practice. Read more about the original tradition in the background. 


⦿ Prepare: Before beginning the process, set a clear intention and create a safe space. This might be finding a quiet, private space where you will not be interrupted, and setting aside enough time to fully engage in the process. Make sure to agree on a time so you have a clear container


*Note that the steps below can be completed by one party or if there is hurt on both sides you can take turns to complete the steps. 


❶ Acknowledge the harm: Begin by acknowledging the harm that was caused and expressing remorse for your actions. This might involve saying something like "I'm sorry for the harm I caused. I understand that my actions had a negative impact on you, and I deeply regret that."


❷ Ask for forgiveness: Next, ask for forgiveness and acknowledge the other person's feelings. This might involve saying something like "I understand that my actions caused you pain, and I am sorry. Can you forgive me?


❸ Express gratitude: Thank the other person for the opportunity to reconcile and make amends. This might involve saying something like "I am grateful to have this opportunity to repair our relationship. Thank you for your willingness to work through this with me.


❹ Express love: Finally, express love and understanding towards the other person. This might involve saying something like "I love you and care about you deeply. I am committed to moving forward in a positive way and building a stronger, healthier relationship with you."


❺ Requests and moving forward: This might involve taking specific actions to heal the relationship. It may also involve making an effort to communicate openly and honestly, and to be more mindful of the impact of your actions on others in the future.

Background

Ho'oponopono is a traditional Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness that has been passed down through generations. The practice is based on the belief that our relationships with others are mirrors of our relationships with ourselves, and that forgiveness and reconciliation can help to heal and restore balance within ourselves and in our relationships with others.

Ho'oponopono is typically facilitated by a trained practitioner or elder within a community, and often involves the participation of the entire community in the process. The practice is believed to have roots in ancient Hawaiian culture, and has been passed down through oral tradition for hundreds of years.

In recent decades, Ho'oponopono has gained popularity outside of Hawaii as a tool for personal and interpersonal healing. The practice has been featured in books, workshops, and seminars, and has been taught by practitioners and teachers around the world.


  1. I'm sorry: Expressing remorse and taking responsibility for one's actions.

  2. Please forgive me: Asking for forgiveness and acknowledging the harm that was caused.

  3. Thank you: Expressing gratitude and appreciation for the opportunity to reconcile and make amends.

  4. I love you: Expressing love and understanding towards the other person, and committing to moving forward in a positive way.

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